10-12 years ago, I began to notice a tightening in my right leg, and pain in my lower back after walking. At first I thought that, like lots of poeple, I was suffering from typical lower back pain. You take some aspirin, or a couple of tylenol and you go about your business.

5 years ago, I bought 4 midway games and began touring with Rheithhoffer Amusements (one of the largest midway carnivals in the U.S.), as an attraction owner/operator. Managing what amounts to 4 small businesses that get completely set up and completely torn down once every two weeks requires a ton of walking. It soon became apparent I couldn't. But, in all other ways, I was perfectly healthy. So I got a golf cart, and did what I had to do for 3 years.

After I came off the road, I became involved with a sweet gal, moved in with her, and eventually obtained health insurance. With this, I finally went to the doctor about my pain. Only to find out my abdomenal aorta was over 90% blocked, and that not only my entire right leg, but also my lower abdomenal organs were blood starved. The doctor was essentially quite surprised I was alive. Surgery was scheduled. I will admit here that there were several discussions (as their always are) about the particulars of the surgery. My doctor "tried" to inform me of what was coming. I write off the fact that he failed owing to his being latino, and not speaking English very well. I do not blame him, but the fact is I had no clue what was about to happen to me.

Once the surgery actually began, the surgeon soon discovered the aorta had developed an aneurism, and I was slowly bleeding to death into my abdomenal cavity. They discovered approximately 2 pints of dried blood in my gut. What should have been a standard 6 hours surgery turned into a marathon attempt to save my life that lasted almost 14 hours. I woke up in intensive care.

It was only then that I discovered what had actually been done to me. During the surgery, I was opened from the bottom of my chest bone to my pubes, and every single organ in my abdomen was taken out and laid beside my body. The abdomenal aorta (the actual, specific location of the blockage) lies right along the spinal chord, so EVERYTHING has to come out in order for the surgeon to have access to it. Suffice to say the damage was repaired (two inches of the aorta was taken out, and a stent was sewn into the arterial network to replace it), and I was sewn up and sent to recovery.

In intensive care, I woke up and became aware of the extent to which I had been cut. It was.... traumatic. So much so, in fact, that I rate getting over the psychological aspect of the experience as the most difficult part of it for me. It didn't help matters that I was infected with Ecoli Shigela during recovery... which extended my convalescence at home from 3 months to almost 9. The ecoli also rears up from time to time to this day, making me devastatingly sick for weeks... I have that to look forward to for the rest of my life, barring the discovery of a vaccine.

It was during a visit to my surgeon abotu 2 and a halmonths after the surgery that i first heard the "zipper" term. A nurse walked in on me changing, and said; "I see you got THE ZIPPER."

I actually kind of like the term. It renders humourous an event that changed my life, and significantly increased my awareness of my mortality.

The scar is about 15 inches or so long, mostly white now (after almost 3 years), and healed fairly well. I developed a bit of absess in the scar near it's lower end during the healing process, but nothing too awfully serious. The upper two thirds of it are tight and almost the same color as my natural skin. The ower third is bit raggedy, but not so much that it troubles me. Those who have seen it find it an briefly interesting topic for light conversation, but neither they, nor I give it any more attention than that.

As it should be.

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Glad to say that "keeping up with the joneses" no longer means it's time to go see my dealer...
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Napkins? Heh, heh... Napkins? We don' need no stinkin' napkins!